you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
