Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I pour the whiskey from now on
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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