The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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