So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
