mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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