how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
