I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
