do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
