laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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