My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
