the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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