butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
even my farts smell like vagina
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's the barista slut.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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