is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize