It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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