I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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