oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize