Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
