You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
