i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
