if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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