i just wanna soil my oats bro
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
