u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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