I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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