she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize