So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
