okay pat passed out under dana's car
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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