YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
