I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
