can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
