I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
