So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
