my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
