I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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