I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
