So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
