Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
