I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
