i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
