He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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