Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
