thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
