I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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