I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
