Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's blow job season.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
