I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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