I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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