Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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