you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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