they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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