I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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