dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
