Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
