Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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