I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
