fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
