yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
