she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
