I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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