just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
