How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
