epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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