I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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