it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
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I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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