Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
