why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
