Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
