I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
