I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
