quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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