I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
